We No Speak Americano!

Gibberish. Gibberish is the language of The Toddler Nation, with over twenty-nine million speakers, 98% of whom live in homes worldwide as dependents of their parents. Gibberish is the most widely spoken language in Toddler residences as well as being understood by confused, patient and intrigued parents everywhere. Gibberish speakers belong to the Toddler group of people in their first two years of life and is considered to be mutually intelligible with Body Language, Manual Communication (insert pointing, flailing arms,tugging and pulling, stomping feet and lots of screaming,) and the Mother Tongue-the primary language used  in the home. As can be seen in the sample conversation below, each Gibberish speaker has his own dialect which is usually a variation of the aforementioned Mother Tongue.This specific sample dialect of Gibberish, is known in our household as Tomspeak.
Gibberish, a sample:

"Tatatatada ta!" (Tom holds out both hands and waves them up and down.)

"Hmm, baby?" (Confused mom feigns attention to speaker and nods head while replying.)

"Tatada  da!" (Toddler continues to wave hands and stomps feet for good measure.)

"Oh, tadada, ok Tom," (Even more confused mom attempts to mollify Toddler with positive answer.)

"Nyo! Mamma! tadara ra  ta!" (Angry and patronized Toddler wails and throws head back in frustration.)

"Huh?"

"O man! dew Mamma, dew"

"Ahh juice?"

Tom nods head with satisfied smile on his face and points to fridge, "Dew."

Relieved mom quickly pours juice and  notes the meaning and sound of  "dew" in Gibberish all the while praying  that it will still be the same sound next time, knowing how fluid and ever changing the language is. As can be seen Gibberish relies heavily on gesticulation of the speaker and guesswork and feigned understanding of the parent. Gibberish being a transition language slowly dissipates as the speaker's language skills develop and improve with time and practice. Parents are encouraged to listen, laugh and wonder at the language explosion! 

Disclaimer: This article has not necessarily been approved or accepted by the International Board of Linguistics. The Toddler Nation continues in its efforts to have Gibberish be an accepted and formally recognized language and not a term used to describe meaningless talk!

Dear Grandma

Hi Gogo. I often think of you now that you're gone. I wonder Gogo,where you are,do you see me now? Do you see the woman I’m becoming and strive to be? Do you se the fruits of all your labour, your passion, your dedication and treasured life lessons in me? I’ve come a long way from being just  Shortie. That ginger haired skinny girl with big dreams that spoke a mile- a- minute and sang loudly out of tune at family gatherings. Here I am Gogo all grown up, still ginger, chatty and tone deaf but somehow wiser and happier. Can you believe it I live with a boy now! Yes Gogo, I finally found someone who was brave enough to reign in my crazy and love me. Now we have a beautiful baby boy named Thompson. Do you see us? Do you see Tom running around all day screaming, shouting, laughing and crying? He’s a wonderful  little boy. The cliché rings true you know. I never knew just how much love my heart could hold till I had Tom. He brings us so much joy. I wake up each morning to the sound of his sweet little voice. “Mamma!” Well actually its not that little when he’s calling, it’s rather loud and demanding. Yet I don't mind it one bit. I welcome his urgent need to see me so that he can  feel safe and secure.I love that even at eight o’clock in the morning before his day begins, before he’s seen anything and done anything, Tom needs to call on me first. He needs me. Do you see that I’m there? There for my Tom. Do you see me dragging myself out of bed to tend to him when he calls? Do you see his face light up as he reaches up to me and coos, “Mamma”? Do you see him running around the house sliding in his socks pushing his cars around, bothering his dad, talking nonsense, downing gallons of apple juice and carrying on his merry way? What about the times when we fight? When he’s angered me and I'm  frustrated and  kneeling and pointing, emphasizing lessons and threatening time-outs. How about when he decides to throw a tantrum right when Oprah starts and he insists we go outside and play ball -Grrr! It’s a charmed life isn’t it! But it’s my life and I got to have it because I was lucky enough to have known  a wise old lady called Emily who loved me and instilled in me such sound values and good morals that now abound  in my own home. I hope you’re proud Gogo. 
Like you always said- “Till we meet again…”
Love always Shortie.

"Yum yum yum yum yum, ¡delicioso!"

So it happened. Thompson has been sucked into the alluring vortex of cartoons namely Dora and Diego. Our house is filled with chants of "Diedo!" and "D-D-Dora!" Like all parents who've been ambushed while innocently picking a few things for the house at Walmart and  had to succumb to the no doubt money churning industry of endless aisles of children's merchandise and buy all things Dora and Diego, from toothbrushes to Cd's, amidst the screaming, pointing demanding and downright threats to jump off the cart by our cartoon crazed toddlers once they see a brightly packaged noisy toy! Our television privileges have come a far second to Thompson's constant demands to watch the same episodes of Diego's Underwater Adventures over and over again.When  he's not watching that he's busy sneaking around as Swiper the Fox  hunched over while clicking  his fingers and screaming "Oh, maat!" ( Tom's gibberish version of Swiper's popular phrase "Oh, man!") Really at this point of his obsession I won't be surprised if Tom doesn't grow up to direct a Dora musical. One good thing about his shows though, is that they  are helping Tom to build  his vocabulary and apply some of the words to his everyday life. We usually have to fight and fuss over meal and snack-times but today i noticed Tom happily feeding himself his yogurt and declaring, "Yum yum yum yum! deyishioso!" with every spoonful. No doubt a chant from Dora's magical  Backpack.