I Happy Mama

I'm ready to let Tom go to daycare now. he's talking, he eats well and loves to be around other children. All along I have been the one pushing Aleck into letting Tom go to daycare. I've argued that he's an only child and he needs to be around other kids, he needs to do his own thing, I need to go back to work,blah blah blah , you know the whole spiel. Now the time has come for us to shop around and look into different places and find the right one for Tom. I'm panicking. I'm doing the back-splash. I'm worried. I've just finished reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Piccoult about a boy who was bullied and ostracized so much he snapped and shot out his high school Columbine style. Suppose I'm that parent who misses the signs and Tom is unhappy or tortured and I can't help him? What if something happens to him that I can't control and he's scarred for life? The list of horror scenarios can go on and on. OK , I know, it's a bit much, its only daycare not a war zone. I was sitting on the balcony with Tom enjoying the sun and killing bugs, nothing special just a mundane activity on an ordinary day. Tom looked up at me and said,
"Hey mom!"
"Hmm what is it Tom?" I asked.
"I happy mama."
"Yeah? how comes?"
"Nuttin' I happy."
That was it. that was our conversation. A simple declaration yet so profound. I know he'll be OK. He's happy.

No Mama,Yucky! Yucky! Sgingy!

So Tom's finally hit the big two. We always hear about the terrible two's. All along I've been thinking, well they don't seem too bad. Thompson at two so far has been fun, he's talking and understanding words a little more. He's more independent, happy to play alone for a bit so I can squeeze in some chores. He follows me everywhere asking a tirade of questions, "Mama what's this? What is it? What are you doowin? Are you OK? Can I come?"  It goes on and on. I can handle that, I understand it's a curiosity borne of learning and experiencing his world in a whole new light. Sometime last week my stomach was bothering me. I just couldn't feel settled and eventually I felt a sudden attack of the runs and rushed to the toilet with Thompson in tow.
"Hey mom! whata doing?"
"Oh nothing Tom," I said, "I just want to pee."
"A pee mama OK," and he left.
Once done I realized, "Oh no I don't have enough toilet paper, just two flimsy squares left." I called Tom for help. So Tom came over and stood just outside the toilet. I pointed to the linen closet beside him and asked him to pass me a new roll of tissue by showing him the old one. He managed to grab two rolls and dropped them on the floor. So I said, " Thank-you Tom, now give mama."  He took one step back and shook his head,
"No mama, no, mine."
I said, " Please Tommy, I need it."
He said,
"Mama , a pee?'
"Yes Tom mama pee, please give me tissue, please please."
So he said," Mama a pee?"  I nodded. He shook his head,
"No mama yucky. Mama washoom (washroom), mama pooh!"
OK, he got me. Frustrated and feeling a little draughty at this point, I said,
"Tom, you don't have to stay for lunch just come in, hand me the tissue and go back to play! Please Tommy give mama!"
I saw the naughty grin spread across his face and  mischievous gleam in his eye as he ran off laughing and  saying, "No mama yucky! yucky sgingy,(stinky,) diaper. No mama no!" The boy left me out to dry...literally! Grrr terrible twos! terrible terrible two's!
Happy weekend everyone...

Manner-isms

We've all come across one at some point in time. You know the rude and obnoxious self- entitled loudmouth holding up the line at the supermarket. I don't want my Tom to be that jerk, so with his vocabulary and awareness growing at weed's pace, we've started to focus on manners. It's no longer acceptable for him to just yell for and demand his favorite things like juice and banana or book without the required pleases and thank-yous. He's doing well for the most part. I even heard him say "Bless you," to his cousin once and I don't remember teaching him to say  that, so I'm proud and impressed that he gets it. I always have to suppress a laugh whenever he walks up to me with his head cocked to one side and his palms up and he lisps "Peath Mama." ("Please Mama.") It's just so adorable to see. Of course I may have a well-mannered son, but he's a well-mannered sneaky son as I learned a few days ago while I was doing dishes. Tom shouted "Peath!" from his room while watching cartoons. Being distracted in my own thoughts and the mundane task of dishes, I must have  automatically replied, "OK!" because he took a moment to run over to me and sweetly say, "Enk you Mama!" (Thank-you Mama!) before dashing back. Ten minutes later I went over to check on him and there he was on the bed, rubbing  lotion on everything in his reach. From his stuffed Elmo toy, to the duvet, his clothes and his hair. It was a creamy vanilla oatmeal mess. He looked  up at me grinning and  rubbing his small palms together and said, "Mmm, enk you Mama, kith!" (Mmm, thank-you Mama, kiss!) Needless to say our next lesson went a little something like, "Sorry Mama, hug!"

Nope Mine!

Hi everyone its been a long time since I chronicled my adventures with Tom I know, but the Christmas holidays always drag me into that vortex of lazy fun! But now we're back and ready for a new year and new experiences...

Ok, I think we're raising a selfish pessimist. This boy walks around the house clinging to every single toy he owns shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head saying, "mine!" Indeed our innocent boy has taken a bite off the forbidden apple and no longer submits to mommy hugs and kisses. Rather, he's embraced a brave new world of No and Mine. A world where it's alright to look your mom right in the eye when she calls you, and yell "NO!" as you walk into the coat closet and shut her out. I'm annoyed and exasperated by the negative aura in the house. I'm a little worried at Tom's refusal to do anything. He says no to food, bathing, brushing his teeth or combing his hair. I'm afraid some day I'll have to carry to bed a scrawny, hungry, dirty, smelly, boy with singing hot apple juice breath and dreadlocks! But then again, I could take a page out of, Tom's Selfishness Guide for Dummies, and own it. Hi, my name is Amanda and our son is a selfish naysayer!
Happy Valentine's Everybody.

Ode to Thompson...

My Miracle
An ode to my firstborn child…

I held the miracle of life in awe
When at first my newborn baby I saw
Balancing him deftly in the crook of my elbow
While rocking him gently for show
O the fuss and excitement of all in tow

The round pure white of his eye
Made me at once to break down and cry
Overwhelmed and amazed by this brand new life
As yet untouched by any human strife
O give thanks and praise to this new life!

Gently, softly , lovingly my hands
Ran through the scarcely follicled head
While his father already the worried dad
Pulled and tugged and checked
Each miniature brown appendage
Making sure there was no breakage
It just would not do for his newborn son to wear any bandage

Sliding the swathed bundle across my chest
I vowed in that instant
With his life I shan’t jest
But rather I’ll honour this precious moment
Filled with life love and contentment
My new miracle of life
               AMEN!

Good Job! High Five!

I knew this would happen someday. I knew the moment would eventually come when I would suddenly realize and accept fully that yes indeed Tom is a boy. A  full fledged little boy made of  "frogs and snails and puppy dog's tails." Emphasis on the puppy dog's tails in this instance. There I was giving Tom his morning bath when he stood proudly, legs parted. bum clenched, hips thrust forward, with his  hands and eyes on the prize, as a steady trickle flowed and tinged the bubbles yellow. Thompson proudly looked up at me with his  saucer eye expression and  big grin ,and declared, "Pee!" Then he leaned over the tub and pushed me aside and yelled, "Daddeee!" So Aleck came over and Tom said, "Dude! pee! goodop!" and gave his dad  a high five excitedly. It was really amusing for me to watch Tom so proud of his pee and his need for praise from his dad whom he'd obviously practiced with, otherwise Tom would have had to squat and pee! Having bonded over pee, Tom and Aleck have taken the logical next step and will often be heard laughing and high five-ing  over synchronized  farts and sing-song burps. Yep, I definitely live with boys in all their stinky valor. You can almost see the testosterone bounce  off my walls each time Tom and his dad play ball indoors and punctuate each kick and throw, (usually aimed at my clean walls and furniture and prized lamps and vases by the way), with, "Oh man!" and "Whoa! whoa!" and of course their favorite, "Good  job! high 5!"  I could go on about how I now have to watch my t.v shows online, because video games and basketball trump wedding shows and The Food Network any day, but really I must go, I'm pretty sure Tom's shaving in the bathroom!

We No Speak Americano!

Gibberish. Gibberish is the language of The Toddler Nation, with over twenty-nine million speakers, 98% of whom live in homes worldwide as dependents of their parents. Gibberish is the most widely spoken language in Toddler residences as well as being understood by confused, patient and intrigued parents everywhere. Gibberish speakers belong to the Toddler group of people in their first two years of life and is considered to be mutually intelligible with Body Language, Manual Communication (insert pointing, flailing arms,tugging and pulling, stomping feet and lots of screaming,) and the Mother Tongue-the primary language used  in the home. As can be seen in the sample conversation below, each Gibberish speaker has his own dialect which is usually a variation of the aforementioned Mother Tongue.This specific sample dialect of Gibberish, is known in our household as Tomspeak.
Gibberish, a sample:

"Tatatatada ta!" (Tom holds out both hands and waves them up and down.)

"Hmm, baby?" (Confused mom feigns attention to speaker and nods head while replying.)

"Tatada  da!" (Toddler continues to wave hands and stomps feet for good measure.)

"Oh, tadada, ok Tom," (Even more confused mom attempts to mollify Toddler with positive answer.)

"Nyo! Mamma! tadara ra  ta!" (Angry and patronized Toddler wails and throws head back in frustration.)

"Huh?"

"O man! dew Mamma, dew"

"Ahh juice?"

Tom nods head with satisfied smile on his face and points to fridge, "Dew."

Relieved mom quickly pours juice and  notes the meaning and sound of  "dew" in Gibberish all the while praying  that it will still be the same sound next time, knowing how fluid and ever changing the language is. As can be seen Gibberish relies heavily on gesticulation of the speaker and guesswork and feigned understanding of the parent. Gibberish being a transition language slowly dissipates as the speaker's language skills develop and improve with time and practice. Parents are encouraged to listen, laugh and wonder at the language explosion! 

Disclaimer: This article has not necessarily been approved or accepted by the International Board of Linguistics. The Toddler Nation continues in its efforts to have Gibberish be an accepted and formally recognized language and not a term used to describe meaningless talk!